“What to Expect When You’re Expecting” is the new star-studded ensemble comedy based on the best-selling self-help book of the same name. And by that I mean, it has nothing whatsoever to do with the book apart from the fact that they share the same central topic: pregnancy. The movie follows five different couples as they go through the trials and tribulations that come along with pregnancy: weight gain, surprises, bickering, complications, overactive hormones, and of course, the bread and butter of pregnancy jokes, morning sickness, gas, and lack of bladder control.
These fun side effects don’t afflict anyone more than Wendy (Elizabeth Banks), a pregnancy expert who is going through a far less pleasant experience than she expected. Her husband Gary’s (Ben Falcone) competitive father (Dennis Quaid) and perfect-looking wife (Brooklyn Decker) are expecting, too. The other couples include Jules (Cameron Diaz), a famous trainer, and her dance partner on a “Dancing With the Stars” type show, Evan (Glee’s Matthew Morrison); Holly (Jennifer Lopez) and Alex (Rodrigo Santoro), a couple looking to adopt; and Marco (Chace Crawford) and Rosie (Anna Kendrick), the requisite cute young couple who are in for a surprise.
Rounding out the supporting cast are Chris Rock, Rob Huebel, and Thomas Lennon as part of the group of fathers who teach Alex the ropes of fatherhood, and (thankfully) provide most of the few real laughs. It’s not that What to Expect isn’t amusing. It’s just not funny enough, interesting enough, or enlightening enough to make the slightest dent in the rom-com genre. It feels and plays out like a bunch of pieces of Play-Doh haphazardly clumped together. We’ve seen pregnancy comedies that were smart and hilarious – movies that, for the most part, held the subject to a higher standard than just an outlet for constant bodily functions jokes. Even the raunchy “Knocked Up” managed to balance the crude and the heart of the subject with care.
In the end, this simple and harmless flick proved to also be vacant and spineless. These ensemble comedies (Valentine’s Day, New Year’s Eve, etc) are getting old fast, simply because they don’t have anything to justify or back them up. More couples then necessary are squeezed into the picture (like Quaid and Decker) as a means to 1) add in an extra splash of star power, and 2) avoid having to spend any actually quality time with any of the couples – and that’s because none of them are memorable or substantial enough to hold their own. Then you have Chace Crawford and Anna Kendrick, who have next to no reason to be in the film other than to showcase those key moments of artificial movie flirtation – and the scenes, which feel like they were plucked from a different movie, work exactly as they were meant to; they make us smile and swoon, even while we acknowledge how misplaced they really are.
The movie of course ends with the women giving birth to the precious little babies, which will warm even the coldest of hearts – but that doesn’t change the fact that “What to Expect When You’re Expecting” is exactly what you would expect…and that’s not an enthusiastic endorsement.
Rating: C
