Movie Review: 'The Woman in Black'

The Woman in Black starts out with three little girls having a tea party; they have bows in their hair and are wearing frilly dresses. (Which, for whatever reason, makes us think, “Well, this is creepy!”) They all look towards the attic window in unison. They slowly walk towards it…and then jump out, killing themselves. Fantastic, we’re off to a thoroughly chilling start! Then the rest of the movie happens.

Daniel Radcliffe, in his first post-Potter role, has the difficult and unfair task of having to carry the entire film on his shoulders…which wouldn’t be nearly as strenuous if there were any real storyline for him to work with. Radcliffe plays Arthur Kipps, whose job as a solicitor leads him to Eel Marsh house. We quickly learn that all is not well with this house, which is home to a vengeful ghost who targets the young children of the village.

Radcliffe, with a wardrobe and complexion that look stolen from Professor Snape, spends the first half of the film tediously walking around the dusty, cobwebbed house with a candle. And while we’re on the subject, this house is cluttered with every cliché in the book – creaky floorboards, a rocking chair that moves seemingly on its own, and of course, the old porcelain dolls with eyes so wide they look as if they’ve been taped open a-la A Clockwork Orange.

In fact, I found the spooky scenery to be the most effective aspect of the movie; no one can say that the film isn’t successfully coated with a veil of gloom and foreboding.


The problem is that this whole set up feels as if it’s going somewhere, setting us up for some sort of shocking revelation – but has nothing to offer past its flimsy set-up. Radcliffe is startlingly dead in the eyes for most of the film. Arthur is a character who is still grieving the death of his wife, I get that. But no human with a pulse can react to the horrors happening in front of him so…unresponsively. Make a noise, run, scream, SOMETHING!

It’s okay, Dan -- the movie wasn’t scary enough to elicit said responses from the audience, either.

The Woman in Black has all the elements for what could have been a throwback to those eerie, gothic haunted house films we all know and love, but it relies too heavily on constant jump scares -- so much so that any slightly seasoned horror fan can see each coming from a mile away.

Note to the filmmakers: jump scares don’t work if you know exactly when to anticipate them…no matter how loud you make the sudden sound effects.

Rating: C-